The Yes Project

Making a good first impression.

Making a good, first impression.

Making a good impression is something we talk about and everyone would like to do; how important is it?

Advances in neuro science have shown us that our first impression of someone and theirs of us, will last a relatively long time.  In fact, the research shows we will have seven subsequent meetings before the impression is revised, even slightly.

To be accepted and influential, it would follow, we must ‘make a good impression’; but what is a good impression.  At The Yes Project we have decided it is being able to emphasise quickly with a stranger, to gain their trust, and that the impression will be formed in less than ten seconds of meeting.

Because we use the lessons of ethology, (The study of human behaviour and social organization from a biological perspective), to find the reasons; coupled with the research of Professor Robert Cialdini (The Psychology of Persuasion. Harper Collins. 1984) we realise it is when two strangers recognise each other as being alike, being alike, as in, from the same troop or tribe, originally.  Cialdini recognised that we are influenced positively by people we decide are like us.  The reasons we make that decision can be complex in the modern World, back in our pre-history we needed to recognise members of our own group.  To make the mistake of trying to join the wrong group would have had serious consequences for our health and well-being.

This decision is made by the emotional part of our brain, the Limbic.  This part of our brain has not changed much since our ancestors were swinging in trees and we have kept it because it keeps us safe.  The Limbic does not reason, it sees every situation as a threat or as no threat.  In order to fulfil its function, this part of the brain works five times faster than our rational brain.  When we meet a stranger for the first time we decide if the stranger is friend or potential foe.  They make the same decision about us in exactly the same way, emotionally.

How can we ensure we make a good impression on a stranger and through that impression be able to influence then and subsequently, have them find us persuasive?  We need to appear to be like the stranger, one of their kind and we can do that be establishing empathy.  Some people are natural empathisers, the rest of us need a technique or method in order to make that important good, first impression and gain the trust, even liking of a stranger.  When we are alike and liked we are influential.  A simple test is to think about people whose advice you trust, who you might go to with a problem or for an opinion, are they people you like?  Are they people you consider to be like you, have similar beliefs and tastes, people you get on with easily?

Helping people learn how to empathise and create empathy within ten seconds is an essential part of helping people to be influential and persuasive, the aim of The Yes Project.  We have agreed that the people we like and are like us are those who will advise us correctly, who will influence and persuade us.  People we are most likely to say yes to.

In short we, at the Project, have concluded that only those people who we make a good impression on are likely to say yes to us.  Making a good, first impression is not a matter of personal charm or charisma it is a learnable technique.