Motivation is useless.

We have all heard about motivation and motivational speakers.  To be motivated is no bad thing it inspires us to try harder.  Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to stay motivated?

Staying motivated is difficult because it is an emotional decision and all emotional decisions are temporary, motivation fades when the part of the brain that produces it realises how difficult it is.  Within a short time this part of our brain will persuade us; 'This is not working, it's not worth the effort.'

By the same argument if we gain agreement from another party through motivation; convincing them emotionally of the strength of our offer, argument or reasons there is a very real possibility that party will change their mind.  In the UK the Law dictates any financial or business decision can be cancelled within seven days without penalty, even if contracts have been signed.  The Law recognises that decisions are often made emotionally and when the decision is subjected to more reasoned thinking it will appear bad. Sadly this Law does not apply to the decision we make when we vote for politicians.

How do we know if we are making a decision emotionally?  If we can remember, there are a few acid tests.  'Does this seem too good to be true?'  'This is something I have dreamed of but thought I could never have.'  'I am so disappointed by my current suppliers any other that does not require effort from me must be better.'
Motivation needs constant re-fueling to keep it alight.  Regular exhortation by the beneficiaries, repeating and escalating the promise of benefit, even the threat of failure.  You can work it out if you are part of a sales team, in any form of target driven production or watching TV when there is an election due.

Commitment, on the other hand, is a decision made by the rational part of our brain.  'This offer/ argument/ reasoning makes sense because I have tested it against my knowledge and experience.'  It may not be exciting but it does fulfill the four criteria The Yes Project has analysed as essential for a positive decision.
To gain commitment when we seek agreement or acceptance of our ideas, proposals or reasoning, we must find a way to avoid the communication between the emotional brains, we need to reason with those we wish to say yes to us.  The emotional brain's task is to recognise threats but it's secondary function is to recognise short term pleasures and persuade us not to reason but go for the thrill.  What gets many of us in trouble is that our emotional brain works five times faster than the rational part of our brain and is very powerful in creating our reactions.  The study of ethology shows us there are some appeals to the emotional brain we simply cannot resist.
There are specialists who appeal to the emotional brain, street traders offering unbelievable value for money on an object of attraction, lottery promoters and politicians.  You can probably think of more.

If the emotional part of our brain is five times more likely to influence our decisions than our rational brain, how do we avoid this.  How do we learn to make decisions rationally?  More valuable, how do we negotiate with the rational brain of the person or persons we want to say yes to our proposals?


This blog should not be too long and the techniques for learning to gain commitment to an agreement or acceptance take some time and considerable practice.
Why would we need to do it?  Gaining commitment is a long term result, employees who are committed will outperform those who are merely motivated and, without constant exhortation.  Committed suppliers will always strive to provide you with the best prices and service.  Committed customers and clients will remain loyal.  Committed new customers will abide by the agreement you made with them, they will not change their mind within seven days.

In business and in life you will benefit enormously if you can gain commitment from those you deal or interact with.  It is of similar advantage to learn how to persuade others to commit.  It is the art of lasting persuasion.
You can learn more about the differences, how to communicate rationally, how to avoid the emotional and how to get others to say yes to you and continue saying yes to you with The Yes Project.  The Yes Project is a not for profit foundation, it's aim is to help people learn to be persuasive, to have others say yes to our ideas, proposals and propositions.

Copyright reserved.
Keith Williams June 28th 2013.

Making a good first impression.

Making a good, first impression.

Making a good impression is something we talk about and everyone would like to do; how important is it?

Advances in neuro science have shown us that our first impression of someone and theirs of us, will last a relatively long time.  In fact, the research shows we will have seven subsequent meetings before the impression is revised, even slightly.

To be accepted and influential, it would follow, we must ‘make a good impression’; but what is a good impression.  At The Yes Project we have decided it is being able to emphasise quickly with a stranger, to gain their trust, and that the impression will be formed in less than ten seconds of meeting.

Because we use the lessons of ethology, (The study of human behaviour and social organization from a biological perspective), to find the reasons; coupled with the research of Professor Robert Cialdini (The Psychology of Persuasion. Harper Collins. 1984) we realise it is when two strangers recognise each other as being alike, being alike, as in, from the same troop or tribe, originally.  Cialdini recognised that we are influenced positively by people we decide are like us.  The reasons we make that decision can be complex in the modern World, back in our pre-history we needed to recognise members of our own group.  To make the mistake of trying to join the wrong group would have had serious consequences for our health and well-being.

This decision is made by the emotional part of our brain, the Limbic.  This part of our brain has not changed much since our ancestors were swinging in trees and we have kept it because it keeps us safe.  The Limbic does not reason, it sees every situation as a threat or as no threat.  In order to fulfil its function, this part of the brain works five times faster than our rational brain.  When we meet a stranger for the first time we decide if the stranger is friend or potential foe.  They make the same decision about us in exactly the same way, emotionally.

How can we ensure we make a good impression on a stranger and through that impression be able to influence then and subsequently, have them find us persuasive?  We need to appear to be like the stranger, one of their kind and we can do that be establishing empathy.  Some people are natural empathisers, the rest of us need a technique or method in order to make that important good, first impression and gain the trust, even liking of a stranger.  When we are alike and liked we are influential.  A simple test is to think about people whose advice you trust, who you might go to with a problem or for an opinion, are they people you like?  Are they people you consider to be like you, have similar beliefs and tastes, people you get on with easily?

Helping people learn how to empathise and create empathy within ten seconds is an essential part of helping people to be influential and persuasive, the aim of The Yes Project.  We have agreed that the people we like and are like us are those who will advise us correctly, who will influence and persuade us.  People we are most likely to say yes to.

In short we, at the Project, have concluded that only those people who we make a good impression on are likely to say yes to us.  Making a good, first impression is not a matter of personal charm or charisma it is a learnable technique.